Offset Festival, Hainault Forest Country Park, Day Two

This morning tempted by the promise of free croissants we briskly head to the New Bands stage for young band I Said Yes. Unfortunately despite the food delivery, the group are leave a poor start to the day. With missing harmonies and an out of tune violin the group have no awareness of arrangements, with each song narrowly missing the twee indie pop they were clearly aiming for. So we make a brisk run towards Colin's Tent which is still running late despite the increasing sound quality. The Brownies are a last minute replacement for Exit Calm and with their fast rhythm guitar and heavy rock, they're a brash jolt- however with their feminist lyrics they quickly turn into a stereotype and nothing more.

Playing on the main stage Popular Workshop look like a group cobbled together. With a bassist more suited to the Young Knives, the guitarist remains the showman of the trio to the embarrassment of his bandmates. As he continues to play a series of off kilter guitar solos the remainder of the band try to hold the act together desperately grabbing at clashing rhythms, making the band a constant strain to watch. Luckily Fight of Apes are here to finally get the party started. With their immature synths and girlish vocals the band act like kids gone wild at a birthday party. As the hyperactive keyboardist stomps around the stage in a bizarre moment of madness he attempts to wrestle with the lead singer, leaving her bewildered on the floor as he hits her with a microphone stand. It crosses the fine line between an unbelievable show and the most attention seeking performance we've seen all weekend.

In a bid to escape the madness we dash into the Last Fm tent to find the most soothing gig courtesy of Slow Club. Unfortunately situated next to the Girlcore tent, the set does come with its' problems. With many quiet harmonies flushed away by the drum'n'bass the duo are pushed into an upbeat set which sees them play highlights from their latest EP. Their duo harmonies and twee melodies leave their set faultless, as we go away dancing with a big grin on our faces.

The day does appear to be ridiculed with bands unable to deliver to their usual standard, and Future of the Left are no exception. Somehow sounding quieter than the Girlcore tent, the group manage to sum up the day with lead singer Falco shouting "Are we all having an average time? As long as it doesn't descend into mediocre we're alright" Unfortunately Hot Club De Paris are not far from average. Resorting to material from their second album the band lack the quirky originality to their lyrics, choosing a more mature stance. We do hear flashes of brilliance with 'Hey Housebrick' and 'Sometimesitsbetternottostickbitsofeachotherineachotherforeachother' but the set still falls short leading to a bland anti climax.

Colin's Tent is still struggling with sound, and while running half an hour late we manage to catch Above Them blowing the small stage to rubble. With an overbearing sound and smashing guitars the sound quickly out grows the tent, leaving our ears ringing for hours. We don't have much time to recover however as we make a dash to see Metronomy headline the Last Fm stage. The tent is sweaty and damp but it doesn't stop people dancing- mainly due to Metronomy's infectious disco beats. With industrial lights strapped to their chests the group burst through a selection of instrumental tunes mixed with comedy dance routines that leave you hypnotically gripped to the stage. Finally as the rain begins to pour we make a trudge for the main stage to see The Maccabees perform a very safe set in their profile slot. Lead singer Orlando entertains the crowd while guitars are promptly tuned but it is guitarist Felix who steals the spotlight, constantly playing up to fans as the band rattle through their year old hits. It's great to see a band performing for the shear enjoyment but as the rain begins to pour it's time to make a brisk exit and head back to reality. Hopefully next year the festival will be executed with a little more organisation.